Give Them Your Best Shot
Someday, someone may need a photo of you.
For an obituary. A celebration of life. A funeral or memorial program. An online tribute. Maybe something you haven't even thought of.
And unless you've weighed in, someone else will be scrolling through hundreds—or thousands—of photos trying to decide which one looks most like the person they knew.
When my mom died, we needed a photo for her obituary. Thankfully, there was one she had told us she really liked of herself. My dad, sister and I agreed. One decision made.
That mattered more than I appreciated at the time because there were plenty of other decisions waiting for us.
So, years later, I gave myself an assignment:
Find a photo I'd be okay having used for my own obituary, celebration of life or whatever my people might someday need one for.
Not my forever photo. Just one that feels right for now.
Your turn.
STEP 1: Find one photo of yourself that YOU like.
It doesn't have to be your best photo. It doesn't have to be recent. It doesn't even have to be the photo someone else would choose.
It just needs to be one you'd be happy having represent you—and you know why.
STEP 2: Write down your WHY.
What do you like about it?
Does it look like you? Feel like you? Does it capture your personality, a place you love, a particular time in your life—or simply make you say, “Yep. That's me.”
A sentence or two will do.
STEP 3: File it.
If it's a printed photo, put it somewhere your people will actually know to look.
If it's digital, give the file an obvious name. Something like:
YOUR NAME — Obituary / Celebration of Life Photo
Consider printing a copy with the digital file location written on it. Better yet, send the photo to the person who might be handling these things after you die.
That may prompt a useful little die-a-logue in itself:
“Hey, I've decided you're in charge of X after I die. Did you know that?”
Probably worth finding out.
STEP 4: Pick a couple of runners-up.
Optional, but why not?
Repeat Steps 2 and 3 for each.
You're not issuing orders from beyond the grave. You're giving your people options—and a little window into how you saw yourself.
STEP 5: Tell someone.
A carefully selected photo stored somewhere nobody knows to look is just another scavenger hunt. Actually, nix someone. Tell a few people.
Congrats—you turned a future TO-DO into a TO-DONE. Ta da!!!
You've potentially made one future decision easier—and, judging by how long it may take you to find your preferred photo, saved your people some valuable time when time may already feel in short supply.
But you've left them something else, too.
Your note about why you chose that photo offers another little window into your world: how you saw yourself, what you noticed, what mattered to you and what felt most like you.
Someday, that may be just as valuable as the photograph itself.
A Few More Things to Keep in the Frame
Now that you've found a photo that feels like you, don't let technical perfection talk you out of it. But a few practical considerations can make your choice easier for others to use later:
Can we see YOU?
A photo where your face is reasonably clear gives your people the most flexibility.Give them some room to crop.
A little space around your head and shoulders is useful. An obituary, program, slideshow or online memorial may each need a different shape.Who's standing beside you?
A favorite photo can get tricky when someone needs to be awkwardly cropped out—or their mysterious remaining shoulder raises questions for generations to come.Give them the good file.
Whenever possible, save the original digital photo rather than a screenshot, social-media download or photo-of-a-photo. More pixels = more options later.Easy on the editing.
Cropping, straightening and adjusting the lighting are one thing. Ideally, you should still look recognizably like you.If it's old, scan it now.
If your winner lives in a photo album or shoebox, make a good-quality digital scan rather than leaving that job for someone else.Make it ridiculously easy to find.
A file named YOUR_NAME_Obituary_Photo has a fighting chance against IMG_4387.jpg.
And most importantly: None of these are reasons to eliminate a photo you love.
Sunglasses. Pigtails. An outdated haircut. A ridiculous hat. An old photograph. Windblown hair. Even a tree appearing to grow directly out of your head.
If that's the photograph that makes you think, “Yep. That's me,” you've probably learned something worth paying attention to.
Sharing Is Caring (and This One Could Be Fun)
Send this Small Step to someone else and ask them to do it, too. Or make it a little more interesting. Before you show them your choice, ask which photo of YOU they would pick. Then compare. Same photo? Completely different?
More importantly: Why?
You may discover something about how another person sees you that you didn't know before.
And while you're at it, ask them to find theirs.
One less scavenger hunt for everybody.