A Blog About Death & Dying
Dying Is Not a Failure — It’s How We Complete Our Living
Dying Is Not a Failure — It’s How We Complete Our Living
Most of us get through life on a steady diet of conversations—big ones, small ones, awkward ones, even the ones we’d rather avoid. But when it comes to the conversations that matter most at the end of life? Suddenly everyone goes quiet.
I’ve watched people I care about tiptoe toward these talks with their families, partners, and clinicians—gently, lovingly, and with the best intentions. And I’ve watched some of those attempts be met with resistance, deflection, or outright shutdown.
It’s disheartening and disappointing. It’s also human.
And it’s also our reminder: dying deserves as much honesty and communication as living.
Map Your Decades
This small step isn’t about paperwork, passwords, or prepping your digital afterlife. It’s about you. Specifically, the roadmap of your life—complete with winding curves, missed turns, scenic overlooks and the occasional pothole.
Why? Because as we get older, it’s easy to focus on what we didn’t do or wish we’d done differently. But what if we zoomed out and saw the full stretch of road we’ve covered? We might just discover that looking back may be the best way forward.
What’s Your Password?
This small step is EASY and takes less than 5 minutes (no joke!). Add this one to your “Good to Go” folder (you have one right?!).
In fact, this small step will BE THE GIFT OF TIME to your loved ones—to the tune of days, weeks, or longer, when they need to access important information after you die (or if you become incapacitated).
Conversations Starters
Plant the Conversation
Talking about death and gardening have a lot in common. We spend so much time cogitating about how it might go that we bury the opportunity to even begin (yes, that’s a death pun).
Breaking ground on a conversation about dying is really about the seeds.
Whether it’s with a friend, family member, or one of the -ologists (you know…the specialists focused on keeping us alive, but not always great at talking about our final growing season), not every seed will germinate. Conditions change. Timing matters.
Executor Expectations— Yours & Theirs
When it comes to dying and death how many conversations should we have with our loved ones and over what span of time?
You and I live in a culture that approaches mortality with a ten foot pole setting us up for missing the mark (okay, lots of belly flops!) with language suggesting it’s “a” conversation, you know the talk — a checklist, a folder, a signature here or there or asking questions that are just too big to wrap our heads and hearts around from the start.
Conversations About Death: How to Begin & Keep Talking
When it comes to dying and death how many conversations should we have with our loved ones and over what span of time?
You and I live in a culture that approaches mortality with a ten foot pole setting us up for missing the mark (okay, lots of belly flops!) with language suggesting it’s “a” conversation, you know the talk — a checklist, a folder, a signature here or there or asking questions that are just too big to wrap our heads and hearts around from the start.