A Blog About Living & Dying
The Scale We’re Not Using (But Could Be)
While casually hanging out in a light blue paper gown, waiting for the dermatologist’s knock, I noticed two posters on the wall.
Well, I didn’t so much notice them as they commanded my attention.
These double-hung, window sized posters were—full color and impossible to ignore. They showed all the common lesions and disorders of the skin including skin cancer—and which ones, if left untreated, could kill you.
They were equal parts fascinating and unsettling. I tried to look away (seriously, it was a bit gnarly), then reminded myself, “Good grief, you’re at the dermatologist’s office being proactive with the largest organ in your body (a full 20 square feet of surface area!). Now’s not the time to be squeamish.”
So I pushed past my discomfort, got up, and took a closer look. The posters were easy to read, informative and left little to interpretation. Did I mention they were in full color—with photos, not illustrations? Again, incredibly helpful…albeit not something I’d want to stare at all day.
Room to Grow, So Others Don’t Groan
Spring has a way of inviting movement. Windows open. Light shifts. And suddenly, the things around us feel more visible.
So this month, we’re giving you a slightly bigger—but still manageable—container:
a room, a closet, or a collection.
Because here’s the truth:
The things we’re holding onto did their job. They brought us joy, meaning, comfort, identity. And while it’s tempting to believe others will feel the same, that might be a stretch.
When we die, finding homes for important possessions often is more like a job for our loved ones—one they don’t have the bandwidth or inclination to take on in a way only you could.
Consider this your Spring-fling down memory lane.
Four Doorways
This SMALL STEP isn’t about doing one more thing for someone else. It’s about offering yourself a quieter kind of gift. It was prompted by the holiday season—and by the way this time of year can bring people we’ve lost closer to the surface.
Sometimes with warmth. Sometimes with complexity. Sometimes with a mix of feelings that don’t need fixing or polishing, just a little room to breathe.
If someone in your life has died—recently or long ago—and thinking about them brings up stuff, this invitation is for you. Not to gloss over anything. Not to tidy the story. Just to notice what might help you feel a little more settled in your own corner of the world.
If you want forward motion, here’s permission. If you want connection, here’s a way to give. If you want closure, here are some doorways. If you want containment, here’s a box.
Dying Is Not a Failure — It’s How We Complete Our Living
Dying Is Not a Failure — It’s How We Complete Our Living
Most of us get through life on a steady diet of conversations—big ones, small ones, awkward ones, even the ones we’d rather avoid. But when it comes to the conversations that matter most at the end of life? Suddenly everyone goes quiet.
I’ve watched people I care about tiptoe toward these talks with their families, partners, and clinicians—gently, lovingly, and with the best intentions. And I’ve watched some of those attempts be met with resistance, deflection, or outright shutdown.
It’s disheartening and disappointing. It’s also human.
And it’s also our reminder: dying deserves as much honesty and communication as living.
Map Your Decades
This small step isn’t about paperwork, passwords, or prepping your digital afterlife. It’s about you. Specifically, the roadmap of your life—complete with winding curves, missed turns, scenic overlooks and the occasional pothole.
Why? Because as we get older, it’s easy to focus on what we didn’t do or wish we’d done differently. But what if we zoomed out and saw the full stretch of road we’ve covered? We might just discover that looking back may be the best way forward.
What’s Your Password?
This small step is EASY and takes less than 5 minutes (no joke!). Add this one to your “Good to Go” folder (you have one right?!).
In fact, this small step will BE THE GIFT OF TIME to your loved ones—to the tune of days, weeks, or longer, when they need to access important information after you die (or if you become incapacitated).
Conversations Starters
Plant the Conversation
Talking about death and gardening have a lot in common. We spend so much time cogitating about how it might go that we bury the opportunity to even begin (yes, that’s a death pun).
Breaking ground on a conversation about dying is really about the seeds.
Whether it’s with a friend, family member, or one of the -ologists (you know…the specialists focused on keeping us alive, but not always great at talking about our final growing season), not every seed will germinate. Conditions change. Timing matters.
Executor Expectations— Yours & Theirs
When it comes to dying and death how many conversations should we have with our loved ones and over what span of time?
You and I live in a culture that approaches mortality with a ten foot pole setting us up for missing the mark (okay, lots of belly flops!) with language suggesting it’s “a” conversation, you know the talk — a checklist, a folder, a signature here or there or asking questions that are just too big to wrap our heads and hearts around from the start.
Conversations About Death: How to Begin & Keep Talking
When it comes to dying and death how many conversations should we have with our loved ones and over what span of time?
You and I live in a culture that approaches mortality with a ten foot pole setting us up for missing the mark (okay, lots of belly flops!) with language suggesting it’s “a” conversation, you know the talk — a checklist, a folder, a signature here or there or asking questions that are just too big to wrap our heads and hearts around from the start.
A Decision-Making Activity
This family-friendly, light-hearted activity helps you explore the quantity and quality of your life thus far. You’ll explore your past and take stock of how you’re spending your time today to help you access how to best continue on toward your ultimate demise.
A Connection Exercise
Connect is what’s most important. This activity will help you quickly see who may benefit from a bit more of your connection and time.
Emergency Contact
So, you’re someone’s emergency contact? Are you ready for that? Who is your emergency contact, do they know what would be important to you for medical treatment if you couldn’t advocate for yourself? Check where they land in the hierarchy of the medical surrogate list.
Remembering a Life: Ideas & Activities
We invite you to get creative and have some fun with how you remember your loved ones after their official ceremonies are over. Try one (or many) of our free to low-cost ideas to celebrate the life of your loved one.